Learning the unwritten rules of engagement ring etiquette makes engagement ring shopping simple and seamless. Many shoppers find questions like, "How much should I spend?" or "Should I choose the ring alone or involve my partner?" overwhelming. This guide will walk you through the etiquette essentials, from understanding cultural traditions to the best way to propose. Knowing what tradition dictates, and how customs have evolved, is key to making an informed and meaningful ring selection.

For further guidance, we offer complimentary expert advice when choosing a VRAI created diamond engagement ring.

The Basic Rules of Engagement Ring Etiquette

Engagement rings have a rich history, filled with traditional expectations, customs, and symbolism. Use the following tips to help you choose a ring that you love while avoiding any faux pas.

First things first: To surprise or not to surprise? Traditionally, engagement rings were chosen by the proposer. Most of us are familiar with this classic image: an individual proposes on a bent knee with a ring that's a complete surprise to their partner.

Today, tradition and relationships have evolved. There's no right or wrong answer regarding the engagement ring selection. Many couples prefer shopping for the ring together, while some couples prefer the surprise element. It's becoming increasingly common for more than one partner to wear an engagement ring. This impacts the expectations of ring shopping and proposing.

If you’re selecting a ring for your partner, understanding their style is essential. This means investigating their preferences in jewelry. Are they fans of minimalist designs, or do they lean towards the bold and glamorous? While you may have your own preferences, the ring you choose should reflect their unique beauty and style. After all, they are the ones who will be wearing it.

Lastly, let's talk about how you propose. The proposal is about creating a moment that both of you will treasure forever. Whether you opt for a grand gesture or an intimate setting, the key is to make it meaningful. When it comes to engagement rings, it’s crucial to remember that while tradition can serve as a guide, your personal values and preferences should always come first.

What to Know When Choosing a Ring

If you’re choosing a ring for your partner, utilize these key pieces of ring selection etiquette.

• Honor Your Partner's Preferences: Consider your partner’s style. The answer lies in the little details: the jewelry they wear daily, their fashion choices, or even a casual comment about a friend's ring.
• Ring Size Matters: To prevent any mishaps on the big day, ensure the ring fits perfectly. Resizing is always an option, but if you have access to their jewelry collection, it’s best to measure their rings beforehand.
• Consider Budget: Be honest about your budget so that the ring you purchase is beautiful and high quality without putting you in debt.

Engagement Ring Budget Considerations

When it comes to budgeting for an engagement ring, there are several pervasive myths and financial expectations to navigate. Use the following to help you budget for engagement ring shopping.

How Much Should You Spend?

How much you should spend on an engagement ring depends on your finances. Forget the age-old myth that says you need to spend two or three months' salary on a ring.

There are numerous engagement rings available today for a wide range of budgets. You should only spend what feels right for you and your partner on an engagement ring.

Financing Options and Smart Spending

We never recommend going into debt for an engagement ring — but we also don’t recommend sacrificing quality. If you’re on a particularly tight budget, consider the options that you can comfortably afford. A slightly smaller center diamond or a sleek solitaire design will lower the overall cost of your ring.

Many retailers also offer accessible financing options, such as payment plans. The ring you purchase should be a lasting symbol of your love, so consider the budget or financing option that reflects your true needs.

Cultural and Family Traditions for Engagement Rings

Balancing cultural and family traditions with your own style can be difficult when selecting an engagement ring. It's also an opportunity to celebrate your heritage while honoring your relationship and the new shared traditions you're creating.

Consider the following to help you navigate this process.

Respecting Cultural Norms

Around the globe, engagement ring traditions vary according to the cultures they come from. In some cultures, certain metals or stones are preferred. Other cultures might have specific rituals associated with the ring, like whether or not you wear the ring on your left hand or right.

Knowing and embracing your different cultural norms can help you select a ring and propose in a way that honors your background and relationship.

Family Heirlooms

Passing down an engagement ring from generation to generation is a deeply meaningful tradition for many families. These engagement rings are heirlooms and symbols of a family’s legacy.

But what if your family ring doesn't suit your personal preference or dream engagement ring designs? It's possible to honor your family traditions and wishes as well as your own.

Many choose to buy their preferred diamond engagement ring and wear both rings together. You could also alternate according to your preferences, or consider using the family ring as a wedding ring.

Proposal Etiquette

The proposal is the moment your engagement ring truly shines, but it’s also a moment that raises numerous etiquette questions. We dive into a few common proposal concerns below.

Presentation and Timing

Choose a moment to propose that’s significant for both of you, whether it’s a special date or a favorite time of day. The right timing enhances the significance and beauty of the moment.

The presentation of the ring will also contribute to setting the mood. Whether it’s hidden in a dessert, tied to a furry friend, or simply presented with heartfelt words, how and when you propose will become part of your love story forever.

Public vs. Private Proposals

Are you dreaming of a grand, romantic gesture in a public place, or a more intimate proposal in a private setting? Tailor the proposal setting to match your partner's personality.

If your partner loves the limelight, a public proposal might be the way to go. But if they're more private, a cozy, intimate setting could be better. Your partner should be comfortable during this monumental moment.

Post-Engagement Etiquette

Once you've popped the question and basked in the glow of a resounding "Yes!” — it's time to navigate post-engagement etiquette.

Announcing the Engagement

Announcing your engagement is important. How and when you announce that you're engaged should be a shared decision that respects you and your loved ones. Many people decide to start by telling their inner circle (family and close friends), before broadcasting it to the world. This prevents any feelings from getting hurt.

Speaking of social media, while it's tempting to immediately share your joy (and that sparkling ring) online, take a moment to consider. Every couple's approach is different, and some people may not feel comfortable with such a public announcement. Discuss together how you’d like to share and what you’d like to say.

Resizing and Returns

What if you’ve proposed and it turns out the ring isn't a perfect fit? Ring resizing is common post-proposal, and most jewelers offer complimentary resizing.

Then there's the question of ring returns or exchanges. Sometimes, the ring style doesn’t match your partner’s preferences, and that’s okay. Many jewelers offer returns within a certain period. Make sure and understand resizing and return policies before purchasing your ring.

Ring Care

Now that you've got this beautiful symbol of your love, it's important to keep it looking its best. If you’re giving your partner an engagement ring as a surprise, they may not be aware of how to care for it. Regular cleaning, safe storage, and annual check-ups with a jeweler are key for maintaining its beauty.

Discover VRAI Engagement Rings

Now that you know the ins and outs of ring etiquette, it’s time to find your dream engagement ring. Explore VRAI’s exquisite engagement ring collection featuring VRAI created diamonds.

Our lab-grown diamonds are grown in the world’s first zero-emission foundry, powered by 100% renewable energy. Unmatched in origin and quality, from the very first atom, we can trace the journey of every VRAI created diamond. Cut and polished to the highest standards in the industry, VRAI created diamonds are the result of incomparable craftsmanship. Dive into our collection of engagement rings to find the design that tells your story.